Remember
by CorvisNoirre
Summary: Just how much can someone take before they break? Will they even realize how much they are loved? This is one such tale... rated m for theme.


Corvis: Hello ladies and gentlemen! Let's make this clear:

DISCLAIMER  
I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does. I do however own any original characters. Also, the song lyrics belong to the band Five Finger Death Punch and are to the song "I remember everything". Thanks!

Sirius Black was tired; so very tired. He stared longingly at the knife he held in his hands. He turned it over and over as his thoughts turned to his family. He waved his wand and music began to play.

Oh dear Mother, I love you  
I'm sorry,I wasn't good enough  
Dear Father, forgive me  
'Cause in your eyes I just never added up  
In my heart I know I failed you, but  
you left me here alone

Sirius made the first cut across his right wrist with a strangled sob. He remembered the tears in his sister's eyes as he left home.

If I could hold back the rain, would  
you numb the pain?  
'Cause I remember everything.  
If I could help you forget,  
Would you take my regrets?  
'Cause I remember everything.

He cutagain; deeper this time. He remembered how furious James and Remus were with him though he didn't have any idea why. He remembered his brother's disdain.

Oh dear brother, just don't hate me  
For never standing by you or being by your side  
Dear sister, please don't blame me  
I only did what I thought was truly right  
It's a long and lonely road, when  
you know you walk alone.

Sirius switched hands and cut his other wrist. He remembered every slap; every curse his mother ever hit him with. He heard every foul word she ever spewed at him.

If I could hold back the rain,would  
you numb the pain?  
'Cause I remember everything.  
If I could help you forget,  
would you take my regrets?  
'Cause I remember everything.

His vision was getting spotty now and he was starting to feel cold. He distantly heard frantic pounding on the door. His thoughts turned to his sister's boyfriend, Severus Snape. He bullied him only for the principle of the matter. He actually quite respected him.

I feel like running away  
I'm still so far from home  
You say I'll never change  
But what the fuck do you know  
I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in  
Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now  
I remember everything

Sirius felt his magic desperately trying to save him He began to sob. " Please just let me die...No more...Please, no more..." he whispered brokenly.

If I could hold back the rain, would  
you numb the pain?  
'Cause I remember everything.  
If I could help you forget,  
Would you take my regrets?  
'Cause I remember everthing.  
The door splintered just after Sirius blacked out. Regulus and Asteria ran to his side with Severus in tow. Severus rapidly began spelling potions into Sirius' system. They glared at the two ashen marauders in the doorway as the song continued.

It all went by so fast  
I still can't change the past  
I always will remember everything  
If we could start again,  
Would that changed the end?  
'Cause I remember everything

"Sevvy, will he be alright?" Astria asked, biting back tears as she doused Sirius' wrists with essence of dittany. " Ria... Physically yes. Mentally , I don't know. Potter, what set him off?" James stared blankly ahead. "Lupin, since Potter is currently useless, you answer." "He nearly killed you through me!" "You bloody idiots! Siri would never, could never..."  
"Regulus is right. It was Peter who told me of your lunar adversion. Avery and Rookwood brought him before the thanatophobiac* this past summer. We should get McGonagall."

Remus found McGonagall in her office. "Proffessor! Come quickly! Sirius tried to off himself!" Remus was hard pressed to keep up with her. Regulus and Asteria stood as one and held hands. When they spoke they spoke as one. "We stay with our big brother." McGonagall waved them on as she floated Sirius on a stretcher behind her. Madame Pomfrey immediately rushed over to Sirius. "Ms. Black, contact your father. Mr. Snape, Mr. Black; what happened?"

Orion Black was known to be calm, cool, and collected in public; a proper pureblood in all respects but truly at the moment he didn't give a damn. His son, his little Sirius Orion, had been hurting for Morganna knew how long and he had sat back and done nothing. He rushed from the floo to his son's side. He took his son's long, pale hand in his and began to cry. "My beloved Wichtel*...I'm so sorry..." Sirius awoke a few hours later to find his brother and sister in bed with him and his father gently washing his face. "I'm sorry..." "Whatever for, son?" " I'm sorry I didn't die..." Orion pulled his eldest son to him and cried. "Father?" Sirius said, shocked. " I love you Sirius Orion and I don't ever want you dead! I'm sorry for failing you as a father...I failed all of you..." Sirius did recover physically and he did his best mentally, but he never forgot that day his father said 'i love you'.

Corvis: Hope you all enjoyed 'remember'. Flames will be used to light bonfires.

1\. Thanatophobiac- person with a phobia of death  
\- german for imp (via bing)


End file.
